A mini Balinese drama Pt2 - get your motor running

I'm beginning to think Rozalia and I are jinxed.
Rozalia needed to get her visa extended at the airport about 70km away so we decided to hire a scooter. I mean how hard can it be to ride one? My brother rides a motorbike. Surely it's just a motorised bicycle right.

I am designated driver even though I've never ridden one in my life. I think it's best I go for a little test drive before I actually get on the open road. Oh dear. The throttle is pretty sensitive and I go flying and nearly crash into some poor man, who probably saw his life flash before his eyes. And to think what could have been his final moments on this planet, his last image would be of my poor face. Thankfully I worked out how to brake just in time, lucky man.

I can hardly ride the thing when I think sod it, come on Rozalia, jump on. I'll learn as I go. A bit of a rough start but off we go onto the open road. About 2 mins later I get stopped by the police.

Me: 'Shit, shit, shit! Is my driving really that bad?'

He asks for my license and registration.

Me: 'Well officer, the thing is I don't have a license'.
Officer: ' Well we have a problem now, don't we? I'm afraid you will have to go to the police station and I'll be taking that bike and registration off you'.
Me: 'Surely officer, there is something we can do to make this incident go away. How much do you think it would cost to make all of this to go away?
Officer: 'Well, I'll leave that up to you'.

So I slip the police $10 and he gives me a 'ticket', where I lie about all my details.
He then says, ' if you get stopped down the road, tell them you've already been stopped'.

And off he let's me go still licenseless onto the open road. And lo and behold about 5 mins later we are stopped by the police again and I tell them I've already been stopped and they let me drive on without asking any questions. What a corrupt bunch of money grabbing coppers.

I get the hang of the scooter eventually but a journey that should take an hour turns into nearly 2 because I drive like an old granny never going beyond 40km p/h. It is obvious we are not locals and people actually drive up to us and try to make conversations with us as we are driving. 'where are you going'?, they ask. I'm concentrating! Go away!

By the end I got the hang of the scooter but I'll be truthful, on the way back, literally 1km from home I had a little incident taking a corner and crashed into a bollard. Poor Rozalia. Luckily as I said before, I drive like an old granny so we weren't going too fast. I scraped my leg but no one was hurt. And most importantly we made it home alive.

The end

Ps there's a big chunk more to this story - basically everything that could have gone wrong did; such losing my helmet, losing the bike, almost running out of petrol, riding in the rain....
I tell you Rozalia and I are jinxed!